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The Off Topic Thread - Printable Version

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RE: The Off Topic Thread - betterthanbaird - 20-02-2015

Good on you for signing, I'm sure she'll be grateful.


RE: The Off Topic Thread - Northwalesbaggie - 20-02-2015

Good Luck. Have Signed.


RE: The Off Topic Thread - silverbaggie - 20-02-2015

Signed Silverbaggie


RE: The Off Topic Thread - bomberbrown1968 - 20-02-2015

Thank you betterthanbaird for sharing and raising awareness, I suppose until we experience it first hand, we don't realise or understand how often cost is put before someones health and well being.

Signed, and I wish you all the best for the future Thumb up x


RE: The Off Topic Thread - aries22 - 20-02-2015

Signed! Best of luck with this.


RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 22-02-2015

Grace period is over.

I recently went to my new doctor. After two visits and exhaustive tests, he said I was doing 'fairly well' for my age.
A little concerned about that comment, I asked him, 'Do you think I'll live to be 80?'
He asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer or wine?'
'Oh no,' I replied. 'I'm not doing drugs, either!'
Then he asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?
'I said, 'No, my former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!'
Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking,
Or bicycling?'
'No, I don't,' I said.
He asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?'
'No,' I said
He looked at me and said,....
'Then why xxxx do you even xxxx want to?"

DD CryCry


RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 22-02-2015

My G/F is driving me to drink. I consider myself to be very lucky because she could make me walk. DD Tongue Tongue


RE: The Off Topic Thread - betterthanbaird - 22-02-2015

Thanks everyone who signed.


RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 23-02-2015

The missus bought a Paperback,
down Shepton Mallet way,
I had a look inside her bag;
... T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey".


Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread...


In her left she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.


Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn't weathered well;
She's eighty four next week!!



Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!


She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
I am a dominator !!


Now if you knew our Mabel,
You'd see just why I spluttered,
I'd spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I'd uttered.


She stood there nude and naked
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
and stood on her left tit!


Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My God what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
"Step on the other one!!


Well readers, I can tell no more;
Of what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of grey.

Unashamedly stolen. DD Tongue Tongue


RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 23-02-2015

A father watched his daughter playing in the garden.
He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her and noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.

"Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked.
"They're mating," her father replied.
"What do you call the spider on top, Daddy?" she asked.
"That's a daddy longlegs," her father answered.
"So, the other one is a mommy longlegs?" the little girl asked.
"No," her father replied. "Both of them are daddy longlegs."
The little girl thought for a moment, then took her foot, stomped
them flat and said,

"Well, we're not having THAT sort of sh1t in our garden."

DD Whistle Whistle