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+----- Thread: The Off Topic Thread (/showthread.php?tid=42)
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RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 23-03-2020
Ireland is on lockdown due to CorVid19, Paddy & Murphy have been called up by the Army, given a rifle each and told “Martial law has been declared. Anyone out after 1800 it’s SHOOT TO KILL!!”
On the first duty they’re sat on a rooftop when Paddy looses off 3 Rds and kills a man who is walking along the pavement.
Murphy shouts “PADDY, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? IT’S ONLY 5:45!”
Paddy replies “I know where he lives...he’ll never fekkin make it home by 6”
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 23-03-2020
My thoughts go out to all those poor married men who have spent months telling the wife....
I`ll do it when I have the time.
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 24-03-2020
Single man with toilet rolls.
Would like to meet single woman with hand sanitiser.
For good clean fun.
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 24-03-2020
Social distancing.......
If you can smell their fart, move further apart.
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - drewks - 24-03-2020
THREE CHEEEEEERS FOR DINGLE DINGLE!!
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 24-03-2020
W**KING from home??
You will need better broadband.
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - talkSAFT - 24-03-2020
(24-03-2020, 10:48)Dingle-Dingle Wrote: Social distancing.......
If you can smell their fart, move further apart.
DD
Oh, thanks!!!
(Just realised why they call me '3-Metre-Peter' down the pub.)
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 25-03-2020
Social isolation......
I got so pissed last night I can`t remember coming home from the kitchen.
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 25-03-2020
So Prince Charles is in self isolation, along with........
2 Doctors
4 Nurses.
2 Chefs
3 Soux chefs
2 Butlers
4 Waiters
His hairdresser
2 Drivers (Can`t spell chauffer)
8 Protection officers
2 Personal trainers
The local Waitrose have cleared all other home delivery slots in case he needs a personal shopper.
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 25-03-2020
Social Isolation......
One good thing is I`m saving a fortune on deodorant as everyone has to stay 6 Ft away from me.
DD