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The Off Topic Thread - Printable Version

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RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 27-02-2020

Beefy tells his doctor, “Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!”

The doctor replies, “Sorry, I don’t follow you…”

DD Rolleyes Rolleyes


RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 28-02-2020

How do you make a tissue dance?

Put a little boogie in it.

DD Big Grin Big Grin


RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 28-02-2020

What do you call a magic dog?

A labracadabrador.

DD Tongue Tongue


RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 29-02-2020

I see the guy who invented the peeled boiled egg wrapped in sausagemeat and breadcrumbs and then deep fried has died.

RIP Scott Chegg.

DD Doh Doh


RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 29-02-2020

I was in the pub earlier and I met a Dalek who said he was from Devon.

I said "Whereabouts in Devon, mate"?

He replied "Exeter mate Exeter mate".

DD Sick Sick


RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 29-02-2020

Corona latest.......

Everyone at John Lennon Airport has been quarantined.

Imagine all the people.

DD Whistle Whistle


RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 01-03-2020

Sent my hearing aid away to be repaired 3 weeks ago, heard nothing since,

DD Dodgy Dodgy


RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 01-03-2020

This morning I asked my barista why she was wearing a surgical mask.

She said it was a coughy filter.

DD Doh Doh


RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 02-03-2020

Came back from the pub last night and just as I was getting into bed she said "You`re drunk"

"How do you know"? I asked.

"You live next door" she replied.

DD Big Grin Big Grin


RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 02-03-2020

Finally my Winter fat has gone.

I now have Spring rolls.

DD Doh Doh