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+----- Thread: The Off Topic Thread (/showthread.php?tid=42)
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RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 09-10-2019
My co-worker is unable to attend next weeks Innuendo seminar.
I have to fill her slot instead.
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Salopbaggie - 09-10-2019
Went out last night and got really wasted. I woke up in the middle of the night next to a woman who was snoring and farting, it was so relieving to know I had made it home OK!
The wife's back on the warpath again. She was up for making a sex movie last night, all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part.
I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next crap could spell disaster.
My sister-in-law sat on my glasses and broke them. It was my own fault. I should have taken them off.
I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night, or "foreplay" as she likes to call it.
I woke up this morning at 8, and could smell bacon burning. I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing! I panicked. I didn't know what to do. Then I remembered McDonald's serves breakfast until 11:30.
The missus packed my bags, and as I walked out the front door, she screamed, "I wish you a slow and painful death, you bastard!" "Oh," I replied, "so now you want me to stay!"
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 10-10-2019
Breaking news.
Man drowns after falling into giant vat of coffee.
His wife said "He didn`t suffer... It was instant.
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 10-10-2019
Turn your ordinary sofa into a sofa bed......... Just forget your partners birthday.
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 10-10-2019
They all laughed at me when I said I would discover the secret of invisibility.
If only they could see me now.
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 11-10-2019
My boss said I intimidate my co-workers.
I stared at him until he apologised.
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Baggiebob(BBB) - 11-10-2019
(24-09-2019, 01:09)Dingle-Dingle Wrote: I was doing a cross word in the pub and said to my Scottish mate “I’m stuck on one, trapped on a desert island, eight letters starting with M”
He said “Marooned”
I said “Thanks I’ll have a pint of bitter then”
DD
Don't get it
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Arcane Astral Aeons - 11-10-2019
(11-10-2019, 13:07)Baggiebob(BBB) Wrote:(24-09-2019, 01:09)Dingle-Dingle Wrote: I was doing a cross word in the pub and said to my Scottish mate “I’m stuck on one, trapped on a desert island, eight letters starting with M”
He said “Marooned”
I said “Thanks I’ll have a pint of bitter then”
DD
Don't get it
marooned=scottish= ma round
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Beefy 1965 - 11-10-2019
You no the tune ...
They’ve been to Kazakhstan and Belgium, Russia in the snow, Scotland get battered everywhere they goooooooo everywhere they goooo.
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 11-10-2019
I just tried to join the Weight Watchers web site, they offered me cookies.
I think it`s a test.
DD