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+----- Thread: The Off Topic Thread (/showthread.php?tid=42)
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RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 05-08-2019
Breaking news:- A man claims to have learnt how to do Origami backwards.
More on this story as it unfolds.
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 06-08-2019
Last night the G/F was constantly waking me up saying "FFS will you stop snoring".
After about the 10th time I got up to go for a piss.
She said "While your up, there are some foam ear plugs in the bathroom cabinet"
Well they worked a treat, I popped them in, and didn't hear a peep out of the moaning so and so for the rest of the night .
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 07-08-2019
A few years ago I invented beach footwear for people with one leg.
It was a Flop.
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 07-08-2019
The G/F asked me why I spoke so softly in the house.
I said I was afraid Mark Zukerberg was listening!
She laughed.
I laughed.
Alexa laughed.
Siri laughed.
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 07-08-2019
"Well, Goodbye Socks!" I said this morning when I ran out of toilet paper.
Was a stupid name for a hamster anyway.
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 08-08-2019
Did you know??
There are more aeroplanes under the water than there are submarines in the sky.
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 09-08-2019
Just back from walking the dog and there`s a Chinese drug addict on the park.
He said to me "Have you seen my cocaine"?
I replied, "Not since he starred in Zulu".
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 09-08-2019
I bought some Viagra from Tesco`s.
I only got a semi, but every little helps.
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 10-08-2019
If a woman is upset, hold her and tell her how beautiful she is.
If she starts to growl, retreat to a safe distance and throw chocolate at her.
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 10-08-2019
I asked the G/F what she would like for her birthday.
She replied "A spa would be nice".
"OK" I said, jabbing her on the nose 3 times,"but you`ll have to be quicker than that"
DD
