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+----- Thread: The Off Topic Thread (/showthread.php?tid=42)
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RE: The Off Topic Thread - St Charles Owl - 18-11-2016
(18-11-2016, 01:52)Dingle-Dingle Wrote: I just wished more of my handcuff stories involved sex instead of the police.
DD
More??? I just wish ANY of mine involved sex!!!!!
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 19-11-2016
One of the presenters on Children in Need just said, "Pick up your phone and pledge."
I'm still sitting here, with the phone in one hand and a can of furniture polish in the other, wondering what the xxxx I'm supposed to do next?
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 19-11-2016
I've been having real problems with nuisance phone calls lately...... The most common one seems to be ......"You said you'd be home from the pub three fuckin hours ago!"
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 19-11-2016
It was the happiest day of my life, I walked into the church, my wife waiting for me at the altar. I walked down the aisle, walked up to her, kissed her on the head and shut the lid...
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 21-11-2016
I came back from the pub last night to find all the doors and windows wide open and eveything gone.......
If I find the sod who took all the chocolates out of my Advent calendar I will kill them.
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 21-11-2016
I've just put all of my Dogging equipment on eBay. .
There's been no bids yet but there's 12 people watching...
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 22-11-2016
I`d love to get a job cleaning mirrors.
It`s something I can see myself doing all day.
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 22-11-2016
A mild numbing headache, a generous sprinkle of nausea, a strange feeling of guilt and a slight loss of memory................
This is no ordinary hangover, this is a M&S hangover!
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 23-11-2016
I can't believe how shallow women on dating sites can be.
I'd been chatting to this girl for a while and we were getting on ok, but then she turned round and said she wasn't interested, JUST because of the type of car I live in!
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 29-11-2016
My G/F asked me for a pet spider for Christmas, so I went to our local pet shop and they were £70!!!
Blow this, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.
DD