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Dan Maskell Meets Tarango
Isn't it time we asked the important questions about tennis?

Did Michael Gove do for Novak Djokovic too?

Will Jim Courier ever shut the fffffffffff up? And why does he look like Bastian Schweinsteiger? And could he take a better penalty?

As for Andrew Castle and creepy dentistry, isn't it Dustin Hoffman time?

Has Sue Barker cornered the market in bland?

Is that Claire Balding and Rishie Persad I keep hearing? Where are the horses? What the ffffffffff do they know about tennis?

What is Gary Richardson actually for?

Why does Mark Petchey still look nine?

Why does Andy Murray wear that stupid cap even under the roof? It's rude. Have you no control Judy?

How can Nick Kyrgios play tennis when he can't walk?

Why is no one prepared to save Novak Djokovic from sexual abuse at the hands of Boris Becker? Yesterday on Radio Four Jeff Tarango, posing as tennis expert, asked how Djokovic would handle the overnight delay at two sets down to Sam Querry, told us that Boris Becker would LITERALLY be tucking Novak in. Now there's cute and there's abuse.

Cliff Richard's jacket on the other hand is cute and it's nice to see him looking better. We all applaud Wimbledon's decision to force South Yorkshire police to act as ball boys, though the shorts do appear rather unflattering. Apparently Cliff will be allowed to sing at them during the second week.

Has any scientific study been initiated into exactly how unbearable John McEnroe will be if Milos Raonic wins the whole thing?

Where are Dan Maskell and Dorothy Round? I'd even settle for Virginia Wade or Francoise Durr. Oh Tracy Austin will you please get off that ffffffffing baseline .......
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