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Szczesny v Pickford
#1
In a game maimed by bizarre refereeing, dangerous foul play, play-acting, malign crowd intent, and a complete absence of sportsmanship, Szczesny came out to play Pickford in a battle for the accolade of world's most over-rated goalkeeper.

Szczesny seemed to have achieved a knock-out when he let in a shot from Harry Kane, who was so far from goal he could only be sighted by telescope, and who was having such a poor game that the very act of shooting represented a triumph of ambition over good sense.

Unfazed, Pickford responded with his impression of a cigar-store Indian stranded on the goal line for a half-decent, but wholly anticipatable header from the six yard line. Clearly he was so overcome by the brilliance of Moder's turn and Lewandowski's ability to provide a perfect cross that he was unable to offer any actual physical reaction, beyond his usual facial impersonation of an eleven-year-old boy caught looking through the girl's changing-room window.

One pundit surmised that a top keeper would have saved Kane's (admittedly very good) shot, but I'm only guessing when I suggest Szczesny, despite his attractive lack of vowels, would probably be generally ranked in the world's top ten. The heavy-legged lack of thrust evident when he finally appreciated the swerve on Kane's shot was embarrassing. He's a mistake waiting to happen and always was. Why Poland don't go for Dragowski, or the younger Majecki at Monaco, is baffling.

And Pickford, by idiot acclamation rated superior to Nick Pope or probably even THE pope himself, had less than a third of the goal to protect from a header but had flat-footed himself so completely he was unable to offer anything in the way of an attempt to save.

But why should I be surprised, Bachmann certainly didn't hit overdrive, when hovering above Lyndon Dykes' unsophisticated, almost straight penalty thump when Austria played Scotland? If he's the best penalty-taker in Scotland I'm Nicola Sturgeon. Hand the job over, whilst you're still winning, is my advice Lyndon. As for Watford's goalie, learn to dive man, you're the goalie - to get a ball close to your feet like that, get one arm down to deflect the ball and the other up, which helps you get down quicker and just kick your feet away - that'll up-end you! Now go away, get some practice in, and let me know when you can do it.

Come on, I want to see goals, proper goals, not permanently be thinking, how the hell did that get past a pro'?
Lord Snooty and ritchiebaby like this post
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#2
As we discussed back during the euros, I reckon Pickford is one of the reasons why England wont win anything under Southgate.

Look at the keepers the other top european sides have. Pickford actually thinks he's better than he is.
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