[theo_luddite]

Leeds fan on his way to Bellend Road

[themaclad]

John Travolta taken to hospital with suspected Covid however it was found to be Saturday Night Fever and his chances of Staying Alive have risen

Apparently he had chills that were multiplying

Please no thanks required!!!!

[themaclad]

Ole Gunnar Solskjaer meets with Jurgen Klopp. He asks him, "Your team wiped the floor with us 5 - 0. I cant get over it. How do you run such an efficient team? Are there any tips you can give to me?"
"Well," says Klopp, "The most important thing is to sign intelligent players."
Solskjaer frowns, "But how do I know if the players in my team are really intelligent?"
Klopp says. "Oh, that's easy. You just ask them to answer an intelligence riddle."
Then Klopp calls Mo Salah. "Please Join me and Solskjaer in here, would you?"
Salah walks into the room. "Yes, boss?"
Klopp smiles. "Answer me this, please, Mo. Your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?"
Without pausing for a moment, Mo answers, "That would be me."
"Yes! Very good," says Klopp.
Back at Old Trafford, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer asks to see Harry Maguire.
"Harry, answer this for me. Your mother and father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"
"I'm not sure," says Harry. "Let me get back to you on that one."
Harry goes to the whole Man Utd squad and asks every one he can find, but none can give him an answer. Finally, on the way out he bumps into Paul Pogba
Harry says, "Paul. Can you answer this for me? Your mother and your father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?
Paul Pogba says, "That's easy. It's me!"
Harry says. "Thanks!" and goes back to the Managers Office to speak with Ole Gunnar Solskjaer.
Harry Says, "Hi boss. I think I know the answer now"
Ole asks him again, "Your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?"
Harry Maguire replies, "It's Paul Pogba"
Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, stomps over to Harry Maguire, and angrily yells into his face, "No, you idiot! It's Mo Salah!"

[theo_luddite]

[themaclad]

Just been to a restaurant and had roast pelican.
It was very tasty, but the bill was enormous

[themaclad]

Apologies if this offends but it made me laugh

[theo_luddite]

Blessed are the cheese makers!

[themaclad]

It's the Our Grate Lord at the end that cracks me up

[themaclad]

[themaclad]

Interesting use of a weapon https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.standar...html%3Famp