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09-06-2018, 00:22
(This post was last modified: 09-06-2018, 00:24 by theo_luddite.)
Meanwhile, the pizza was getting cold and nobody had picked up the pizza slicer that could have been used to remove the bear and the wasp with a simple flick of the wrist, or as they used to say, it's all in the wrist action.
A guide to cask ale.
“In the best pubs, you can spend entire afternoons deep in refreshment without a care in the world.”
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Jack took advantage of the mass confusion and kicked the South African Paralympian straight in the vagina and then picked up the pizza slicer.
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In walked the German Shepherd from next door, "did someone mention pizza?" he said.
Not all men are sexist but all men can stop sexism. CALL IT OUT!
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Jack started slapping himself around the face, thinking he must still be asleep having a crazy dream.
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Not a good thing to do when you have a pizza slicer in hand.
A guide to cask ale.
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With his face torn to shreds from the pizza slicer, Jack woke to find himself in hospital with his whole head covered in bandages and a team of doctors leaning over him mumbling between themselves.
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Mumble, mumble, stich one, pearl one, mumble, mumble, elastoplast, I prefer mine with anchovies and pepperoni to be honest.
A guide to cask ale.
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One of the female doctors leaning over had a bit too much cleavage showing and upon Jack getting an eye full he thought to himself, “so this is what purgatory feels like”.
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She continued with removing the bandages and when they were all removed she held up a mirror in front of Jack's face.
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Jack jumped back in horror at the sight of the Freddy Krueger lookalike in the mirror looking back at him. “Why did I choose to slap myself with the pizza cutter?!” Exclaimed Jack.