[theo_luddite]

Meanwhile, the pizza was getting cold and nobody had picked up the pizza slicer that could have been used to remove the bear and the wasp with a simple flick of the wrist, or as they used to say, it's all in the wrist action.

[WBA-Josh]

Jack took advantage of the mass confusion and kicked the South African Paralympian straight in the vagina and then picked up the pizza slicer.

[Amelia Chaffinch]

In walked the German Shepherd from next door, "did someone mention pizza?" he said.

[Lord Snooty]

Jack started slapping himself around the face, thinking he must still be asleep having a crazy dream.

[theo_luddite]

Not a good thing to do when you have a pizza slicer in hand.

[St Charles Owl]

With his face torn to shreds from the pizza slicer, Jack woke to find himself in hospital with his whole head covered in bandages and a team of doctors leaning over him mumbling between themselves.

[theo_luddite]

Mumble, mumble, stich one, pearl one, mumble, mumble, elastoplast, I prefer mine with anchovies and pepperoni to be honest.

[WBA-Josh]

One of the female doctors leaning over had a bit too much cleavage showing and upon Jack getting an eye full he thought to himself, “so this is what purgatory feels like”.

[Lord Snooty]

She continued with removing the bandages and when they were all removed she held up a mirror in front of Jack's face.

[WBA-Josh]

Jack jumped back in horror at the sight of the Freddy Krueger lookalike in the mirror looking back at him. “Why did I choose to slap myself with the pizza cutter?!” Exclaimed Jack.