[Dingle-Dingle]

Three kids at school boasting how fast their dads were,
Fust un my dad con do a fower minute mile,
Second un my dads that fast when he goss joggin we an to goo in the car to keep up with im.
Third un my dads the fastest ever, works for the council, finishes work at fower a clock an 'es in our house afore half past two.

DD With thanks.

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 ,Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart. He was stiff-legged and walking slowly.
One student said to his friend: "I'm sure that poor old man has Peltry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that."
The other student says: "No, I don't think so. The old man surely has Zovitzki Syndrome. He walks slowly and his legs are apart, just as we learned in class."
Since they couldn't agree they decided to ask the old man..
They approached him and one of the students said to him, "We're medical students and couldn't help but notice the way you walk, but we couldn't agree on the syndrome you might have. Could you tell us what it is?"
The old man said, "I'll tell you, but first you tell me what you two fine medical students think."
The first student said, "I think it's Peltry Syndrome."
The old man said, "You thought - but you are wrong."
The other student said, "I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome."
The old man said, "You thought - but you are wrong."
So they asked him, "Well, old timer, what do you have?"
The old man said, "I thought it was Wind - but I was wrong, too!

DD    

I don't get that, unless you mean the guy's simply shit himself?

Correct. DD