[theo_luddite]

Apologies ritchie, it looks like you've been dong a fine job on here.

I'm a bit late to this and yes congratulations to the Brit (Jock really) men's and women's teams for silver and gold in the flat green ice bowling competitions.

"Haaaaaarrrrrrdddd".

Didn't hear that as much this time on the few occasions I woke up at stoopid o'clock and put the tellybox on to try and lull me back to sleep. Must be the Canucks that scream that. They always did when I lived over there. I also noted they've stopped using old fashioned yard brushes and now use those new fangled swiffer type things to erm, remove the loose ice that gets in the way of the lump of granite. I think that's what they are for. Didn't see them using the disposable sheets this time though. Can't have picked up much in the way of dust and dog hairs.

When and if they ever go crown green granite chucking with at least four teams on the ice at any one time, I'll start to take it a bit more seriously. They'll need a smaller rock (let's call it a Jock as opposed to a Jack) to start with though because those over sized Mod style targets that the scooter boys used to wear on their backs will never work on crown green, er, sorry, ice bowling.

Elsewhere if I believe what I read and heard, a Russian waif and stray, accused (allegedly) of taking her grandads angina heart medicine (3 of them at the last count apparently) accidentally when she called round for a cup of tea and his pack of Vicks Vapour Rub (or the Russian equivalent) falls on her arse 3 or 4 times in the ice twirling and jumping final and yet she still finished 4th?

So, just how shit were the rest of them? See for reference the South African "old" woman that embarrassingly trundled around in the skate board park in those Summer games last year - she didn't fall over but was she really the best that Seth Efrika could find? - or alternatively, how bent are the judges (still) in the farcically judged as opposed to timed or measured sports in the Olympics?

No I didn't watch, I stopped years ago as it's been a farce forever. Thank feck we don't have ballroom or roller skate/blade dancing in the Summer Olympics. What do you mean they are discussing it?

Likewise our own athletes or kit designers/skate/blade sharpeners and ski waxers are obviously not on or utilising the right funny fluids or substances despite the millions we throw at them through lottery funding to get into the top three even when we have a World Top 3 in the line up going in. I'll give you the snow/weather might have influenced some results on some days, it's winter and shit (well mostly snow) happens. I wasn't expecting 20 medals, but I was expecting a lot more top 10 finishes than the few we got.

Maybe we just aren't funding the correct judges and timing officials enough? Just a thought.

Apart from that some langlauf skier (Cross Country) nearly got his willy frozen off, for the 2nd time!!! Note - don't use Cross Country Trains, they never have the heating on.

Given the sport he plays in you'd have thought the brand name Damart might have come to his attention by now.

Olympic rant over (until the next one). I'm off for a snowball.