[theo_luddite]

As above I got a late call out from a "phone a friend" about her snotty nosed dribbling pussy, and I missed the match. So, sorry if I missed anything important to the quiz. I've also looked up how they score things on "QI" and "Have I got News for You", which basically means I can award points as I feel fit.

It's my last thread of the season unless 20 teams or more are deducted about 50 points for some spurious reason or another that thrusts Town into the play-off's, so you are not best placed to argue. If in doubt see ritchies post, #6. Scoring totals will be calculated using the Post Office's incredibly accurate Horizon software. Apologies for not telling you in advance but it absolves me from not being able to add up and subtract properly. Ask your local sub-post office manager for their lawyers details to argue your case if you feel you should have won the kwiz.

AmChaff gets 3 points before we start for admitting to having a lie in on a Saturday morning and telling him-in-doors what he's having for tea tonight, when the tight fisted little Yorkie fella get's round to ordering the take-aways.
AmChaff - the blue stuff on a jig-saw, unless it's a river, a lake or the sea is usually sky and goes at the top of the puzzle - just a little hint in case you are struggling.

Who will be the first Town player ....

1. to give the ball away in our half leading to a Blackburn chance or a goal? - Seems it was Schoffer flapping at the ball for the first goal. Anything happen before that? Nobody got that unless the highlights or a match report proves otherwise. I don't think the throw in covers it either really?
2. to get a yellow card, probably for time wasting but any reason will do? Holmes - nobody that I can find. Didn't think he was tall enough to get a yellow to be honest.
3. to have a shot on target? Well apparently we only had one so that must have been Koroma - was that Snoots? No.
4. in which half will it be? (hint, "Theirs" is not the correct answer).   2nd half - nobody
5. to score? (for us or them). That was also Koroma and Snoots got that one. jjamez was right about Armstrong scoring for them, 3 times, but dearie me, the yoof of today just don't have enough attention span to read the whole question. jjamez loses 3 points for not listening.
We really should cut the games 60 minutes with an hours tea break for half-time so the yoof can all go play Super Mario Kart or something and only invite teams that have won the League 3 times in a row into the next Super League. At least we won't have to worry about relegation to League 1 again if that happens.

on a different note -
6. what colour chino's/tracky bottoms or other leg covering of your choice will Careless be wearing for this match? Seems it was the, er, lucky? cream ones. Think Snoots and jjamez got this. 5 points each.

and finally on a more topical note -
7. how many pot-holes does it take to fill the Albert Hall? "4000 holes in Blackburn, Lancashire" - from The Beatles - A Day in the Life.

It was inspired by a newspaper report about the number of pot-holes in the roads of Blackburn, so what has changed in oooooh 60 years? Apparently John Lennon used his imagination to do the calculation to work out how many holes would fill the Albert Hall, but you know what newspapers are or were like? These days they normally compare things to the size of Wales, not the Albert Hall, so you missed that opportunity too. The guy who committed suicide in his car in the first verse was apparently another story in the same newspaper. jjamez gets 2 points for his smart-assed answer, Snoots get's 1 for having a foggy brain day that vaguely recalled Dr. Winston O'Boogies mates were involved somewhere.

8. how do you like your chicken? (roast, curry, KFC etc). Winner comes up with best recipe/meal as chosen by me. (Sorry, but Mrs. Tweedie didn't do vegetarian pies).
I'm giving this to ritchie for his Balmoral chicken. Now bear (bare, beer?) with me, I love a nice curry, and a tandoori, butter chicken, what ever, is right up there, and I'm also no lover of offal or a wee dram either, but, many moons back we had an awfully nice Jock fella and his awfully nice Geordie missus running our local in Hafilax.

They later went on to run The Pump Room before it was pulled down around their ears and it's still a pile of rubble that was supposed to have been redeveloped into some fancy arsed shopping centre yonks ago. Any hoo, one Burns neet Saturday or Sunday afternoon (think about it) they gave every customer a free wee bowl of haggis with their drink, and I have to say it was delicious.

jjamez nearly got 5 points for his answer. The thought of a chicken with carrots, leeks, onions, garlic and sprouts duct taped to it's knees wading in a pan of hot water to make a chicken and veg soup fired my imagination - but quite honestly, the deader it is, the better for us all - including having the cluck removed. I'll give him 2.

Now I've also recently been given a jar of whiskey marmalade. I can't taste any whiskey in it, so I'm thinking the tight fisted jock that made it was hammered and forgot or they had the wee dram for themselves. So on that basis, 5 points to ritchie
I may even give it a whirl myself one day.

9. if you could go to the match by train, would you get off in Blackburn and walk, or Darwen and get a bus/taxi or even walk after visiting a beer garden of your choice (or several)? I'm not sure if any of you would have got there to be honest but jjamez gets 5 points for his story
10. antigram - shitroomdew? Snoots got this one - just happy to add to a list that started with Colin Wanker - 3 points to Snoots as it wasn't that hard.

Sooooo ..... the totals as calculated by the QI elves - (shit I need a pencil and paper). Glasses of beer and wine drunk this afternoon - gallons, well it's been warm tho' but,

Despite me penalising him heavily for not paying attention whilst on duty, the winner of the kwiz is .......

paaaah, pah, pah, pah, pah, paaaaah,

jjamez.

Blue Army, Blue Army.

Speech?