[Salopbaggie]

An American was on holiday doing a tour of football stadiums. He was inside the Emirates when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read '£1,000 per call'.

The American, being intrigued, asked a member of staff who was passing by what the telephone was used for. He replied that it was a direct line to heaven and it cost £1,000 to use.

The American thanked the man and went along his way. Next stop was Old Trafford

There he saw the same golden telephone with the same sign under it. He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in London and he asked a nearby cleaner what its purpose was. She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for £1,000, he could maybe talk to God.

'O.K., thank you,' said the American. He then travelled to the Etihad, St James Park and Anfield and in every stadium he saw the same golden telephone with the same '£1,000 per call' sign under it.

Next on the list was a trip to West Bromwich.

He arrived in West Bromwich and headed straight for the ground, there was the same golden telephone, but the sign under it read '50 pence per call.'

The American was surprised so he asked the grounds man about the sign. "mate, I've travelled all over England and I've seen this same golden telephone in many stadiums. I was told that it is a direct line to heaven and for £1,000 I could ring heaven. Why is it only 50 pence here?"

The Grounds man smiled and said, 'You're in the Hawthorns now, son . it's only a local call.'