[talkSAFT]

You know if you keep a glass of wine in each hand you can’t accidentally touch your face.

I am starting to understand why pets try to run out of the house when the door opens.
Does anyone know if we can take showers yet or should we just keep washing our hands???
I’m so excited; it’s time to take the garbage out. I wonder what I should wear?

Day 7 at home and the dog is looking at me like, “See? This is why I chew the furniture.”
Home schooling question: Does having your children fix you mixed cocktails count as a chemistry lesson?
My Mom always told me I wouldn’t accomplish anything by lying in bed all day, but look at me now! I’m saving the world!

If you get an email with the subject “Knock Knock” don’t open it....
It’s a Jehovah Witness working from home.

I swear my fridge just said: “what the hell do you want now?”
If anyone owes you money, go to their house now. They should be home.

I’m giving up drinking for a month.
.....Sorry, punctuation typo.....
I’m giving up. Drinking for a month.