04-05-2018, 11:49
The next door neighbour’s cat is xxxx mental; I shine a laser pointer in my neighbour's window when they've gone out and their cat has trashed 3 sets of mini blinds and five net curtains chasing it so far. They have no idea it's me. Bloody epic, well, until they put him down I guess,
Neil Armstrong lands on the moon: 5 pictures. Girl goes to Starbucks : 47 pictures.
How to confuse a fat nymphomaniac. Give her a cholate dildo.
Give a man a beer and he will entertain you…Hold a mans beer and he will entertain the bloody world.
Face Book, why do birds lie when they get compliments on pics? Givin it "OMG Abby you're so pretty too" when Abby clearly looks like a xxxx fat melted spatula
Our beloved F.A. - after selling off Wembley, why not see if you can get a few quid for Bobby Moore’s ashes, Alf Ramsey’s soul or Gordon Banks glass eye.
A dog-poo bag makes an ideal bin-liner for Action Man to sleep rough in when the war's over.
Australians don’t have sex…Australians mate.
Veganism is like Communism. They are both fine, unless you like food.
Penguins mate for life but also have the highest rate of alcoholism among any animal.
I bet Batman’s cape gets stuck in the car door more times than he’s willing to admit.
TURN any noun into an insult by simply putting 'You absolute' before it. Examples...
You absolute drum
You absolute fridge
You absolute shed
You absolute goose
You absolute bollard
Make women's football more entertaining by watching it on fast forward and playing the Benny Hill theme tune at the same time.
EXTENSIVE experimentation has shown me that tomato puree is the best thing to add to your cat's food to turn its urine orange.
Save on expensive Ski wear by wearing the jacket off your boiler and oven gloves.
RELIVE your school days by writing ,ɹoʇɐןnɔןɐɔ, across your G/F’s tits.
Masochists. Avoid paying a fortune at fetish parlors. Simply walk through Wolverhampton in the early hours. That way, you can get beaten up, humiliated and sexually assaulted free of charge.
One of my favorite Facebook activities is to find a picture of 3 girls and comment "wow you 2 look amazing" and then sit back and watch the comments explode
CASH strapped police forces. The average police woman’s uniform costs around £250. But Ann Summers’ shops do a wipe-clean one for under twenty. So save money and improve public relations in one stroke.
Consuming alcohol lowers the body’s reserves of vital elements such as iron, potassium, water and bacon. Every unit of alcohol kills the equivalent of two inches of bacon which must be replaced the next morning.
Women love a man brimming with confidence. Because, without that, what’s to destroy?
I am very like of using Google Translate.
Been caught wearing your G/F's knickers again? ..Simply explain that you're stretching them so she can fit her fat arse into them and hey presto 2 black eyes and no sex for a month.
DD
Neil Armstrong lands on the moon: 5 pictures. Girl goes to Starbucks : 47 pictures.
How to confuse a fat nymphomaniac. Give her a cholate dildo.
Give a man a beer and he will entertain you…Hold a mans beer and he will entertain the bloody world.
Face Book, why do birds lie when they get compliments on pics? Givin it "OMG Abby you're so pretty too" when Abby clearly looks like a xxxx fat melted spatula
Our beloved F.A. - after selling off Wembley, why not see if you can get a few quid for Bobby Moore’s ashes, Alf Ramsey’s soul or Gordon Banks glass eye.
A dog-poo bag makes an ideal bin-liner for Action Man to sleep rough in when the war's over.
Australians don’t have sex…Australians mate.
Veganism is like Communism. They are both fine, unless you like food.
Penguins mate for life but also have the highest rate of alcoholism among any animal.
I bet Batman’s cape gets stuck in the car door more times than he’s willing to admit.
TURN any noun into an insult by simply putting 'You absolute' before it. Examples...
You absolute drum
You absolute fridge
You absolute shed
You absolute goose
You absolute bollard
Make women's football more entertaining by watching it on fast forward and playing the Benny Hill theme tune at the same time.
EXTENSIVE experimentation has shown me that tomato puree is the best thing to add to your cat's food to turn its urine orange.
Save on expensive Ski wear by wearing the jacket off your boiler and oven gloves.
RELIVE your school days by writing ,ɹoʇɐןnɔןɐɔ, across your G/F’s tits.
Masochists. Avoid paying a fortune at fetish parlors. Simply walk through Wolverhampton in the early hours. That way, you can get beaten up, humiliated and sexually assaulted free of charge.
One of my favorite Facebook activities is to find a picture of 3 girls and comment "wow you 2 look amazing" and then sit back and watch the comments explode
CASH strapped police forces. The average police woman’s uniform costs around £250. But Ann Summers’ shops do a wipe-clean one for under twenty. So save money and improve public relations in one stroke.
Consuming alcohol lowers the body’s reserves of vital elements such as iron, potassium, water and bacon. Every unit of alcohol kills the equivalent of two inches of bacon which must be replaced the next morning.
Women love a man brimming with confidence. Because, without that, what’s to destroy?
I am very like of using Google Translate.
Been caught wearing your G/F's knickers again? ..Simply explain that you're stretching them so she can fit her fat arse into them and hey presto 2 black eyes and no sex for a month.
DD
Ubique.