13-04-2018, 11:40
Always love a woman for her personality; they have ten on average so you get to choose…………….. sometimes.
If you want to commit the perfect crime do it when the clocks change and we loose an hour. That way you did it when time didn’t exist
My old dad used to say…….. ” always, always be up front with everyone!” Great man, shit goalkeeper!
I was shocked to discover the element of surprise is not included in the periodic table.
The Columbian version of Top Gear has xxxx all to do with cars
I’m not totally useless; you can use me as a staggeringly bad example!
A Victorian porcelain teapot is a delightful and charming way to administer an enema.
Dont get into trouble with Michael Cain by misunderstanding his instructions and oraly satisfying Jim Morrison and his band.
OFFICES. Increase your paper supply by photocopying all your blank A4 paper.
Solve world hunger, sweetcorn, eat, rinse, repeat!
I went to the Drs this morning with sore feet. He said. "Gout" I said. " Bloody Hell I have only just come in
Another World's Oldest Man has died. Those bloody Russians are at it again!
I lost in the toe sucking championships, first time I’d ever tasted defeat.
TIP: Access any crime scene, by turning up with two coffees, handing one to the officer in charge and saying “so what do we have here?”
My girlfriend thinks I'm incapable of being faithful. My wife on the other hand...
Beat the sugar tax by buying sugar free drinks then go home and add 7 spoonfuls of your own sugar...
MoneySupermarket: Why not ruin the entire 60’s childhoods of literally millions of British people with your latest Action Man adverts. Since when did we make them dance together like the xxxx Village People, you started the xxxx rot with the 80’s He-man and Skeletor dirty dancing!
Why do the distance runners always look down to check they still have both feet and hold their kneecaps in case they drop off immediately after finishing a race ?
One of the great things about having kids is that you can check your pulse using the veins on the side of your head
Our dog just winked at me, and now I am trying to figure out what bloody secret we are keeping from the rest of the family
"It wasn’t me" - First rule of fart club
Dear kids snorting johnnies, don't worry, Your parents didn't know how to use them properly either...
Get the London look by stabbing yourself in the chest with a kitchen knife.
DD
If you want to commit the perfect crime do it when the clocks change and we loose an hour. That way you did it when time didn’t exist
My old dad used to say…….. ” always, always be up front with everyone!” Great man, shit goalkeeper!
I was shocked to discover the element of surprise is not included in the periodic table.
The Columbian version of Top Gear has xxxx all to do with cars
I’m not totally useless; you can use me as a staggeringly bad example!
A Victorian porcelain teapot is a delightful and charming way to administer an enema.
Dont get into trouble with Michael Cain by misunderstanding his instructions and oraly satisfying Jim Morrison and his band.
OFFICES. Increase your paper supply by photocopying all your blank A4 paper.
Solve world hunger, sweetcorn, eat, rinse, repeat!
I went to the Drs this morning with sore feet. He said. "Gout" I said. " Bloody Hell I have only just come in
Another World's Oldest Man has died. Those bloody Russians are at it again!
I lost in the toe sucking championships, first time I’d ever tasted defeat.
TIP: Access any crime scene, by turning up with two coffees, handing one to the officer in charge and saying “so what do we have here?”
My girlfriend thinks I'm incapable of being faithful. My wife on the other hand...
Beat the sugar tax by buying sugar free drinks then go home and add 7 spoonfuls of your own sugar...
MoneySupermarket: Why not ruin the entire 60’s childhoods of literally millions of British people with your latest Action Man adverts. Since when did we make them dance together like the xxxx Village People, you started the xxxx rot with the 80’s He-man and Skeletor dirty dancing!
Why do the distance runners always look down to check they still have both feet and hold their kneecaps in case they drop off immediately after finishing a race ?
One of the great things about having kids is that you can check your pulse using the veins on the side of your head
Our dog just winked at me, and now I am trying to figure out what bloody secret we are keeping from the rest of the family
"It wasn’t me" - First rule of fart club
Dear kids snorting johnnies, don't worry, Your parents didn't know how to use them properly either...
Get the London look by stabbing yourself in the chest with a kitchen knife.
DD
Ubique.