02-02-2018, 13:59
BESTIALITY INSOMNIACS. Try not to think about sheep when trying to get to sleep, don’t try cat napping either.
Part of the thrill of Tinder or POF is not knowing whether you will meet the love of your life or end up being murdered and worn as a skin suit!
Some girls be like "He is my absolute world!"
Really love? He is your fourth world this year, what are you trying to do, build a xxxx solar system or something?
I was mortified when I caught my dad dressed up in my mum's clothes for the first time. That skirt with those shoes?
My friends have entered me in an Innuendo Competition.
Told my brother that I once stuck my sausage roll in my mate's chocolate fountain at his 21st party. In hindsight, I could have worded that better....
Never trust a plumber who turns up in wellies.
Avid spelling mistates by Simonly texting wen the buss stops mooning
Did You Know?.. if it wasn’t for electricity we'd all be watching television by candle light.
Last longer when having sex with your girlfriend, by simply keeping a photo of your wife close at hand
During my check-up I asked the Doctor, “Do you think I’ll live a long and healthy life then?”
He replied, “I doubt it somehow. Mercury is in Uranus right now.”
I said, “I don’t go in for any of that astrology bollocks.”
He replied, “Neither do I. Thermometer just broke.”
Just made me some synonym rolls. Just like grammar used to make.
Guess all those years of phone sex have caught up with me, I have hearing aids
The most common owl is the 'teet'. They mostly hang around in kitchens. Not to be confused with the larger owl which is of course the Baft Owl, close cousin of the Mediterranean Beached Owl.
The rarest owl is the sanitary, very rarely seen, likes to hide away and only developed wings in the 80’s.
Trampoline is a streak-free cleaner for the homeless, not something a fox shits on in your back garden.
DD
Part of the thrill of Tinder or POF is not knowing whether you will meet the love of your life or end up being murdered and worn as a skin suit!
Some girls be like "He is my absolute world!"
Really love? He is your fourth world this year, what are you trying to do, build a xxxx solar system or something?
I was mortified when I caught my dad dressed up in my mum's clothes for the first time. That skirt with those shoes?
My friends have entered me in an Innuendo Competition.
Told my brother that I once stuck my sausage roll in my mate's chocolate fountain at his 21st party. In hindsight, I could have worded that better....
Never trust a plumber who turns up in wellies.
Avid spelling mistates by Simonly texting wen the buss stops mooning
Did You Know?.. if it wasn’t for electricity we'd all be watching television by candle light.
Last longer when having sex with your girlfriend, by simply keeping a photo of your wife close at hand
During my check-up I asked the Doctor, “Do you think I’ll live a long and healthy life then?”
He replied, “I doubt it somehow. Mercury is in Uranus right now.”
I said, “I don’t go in for any of that astrology bollocks.”
He replied, “Neither do I. Thermometer just broke.”
Just made me some synonym rolls. Just like grammar used to make.
Guess all those years of phone sex have caught up with me, I have hearing aids
The most common owl is the 'teet'. They mostly hang around in kitchens. Not to be confused with the larger owl which is of course the Baft Owl, close cousin of the Mediterranean Beached Owl.
The rarest owl is the sanitary, very rarely seen, likes to hide away and only developed wings in the 80’s.
Trampoline is a streak-free cleaner for the homeless, not something a fox shits on in your back garden.
DD
Ubique.