[Dingle-Dingle]

My Grandad was a WW11 veteran,
In just one day during the Battle of Britain, he destroyed 8 German aircraft killing 32 xxxx aviators.
The worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.

Stairs, add a button for when someone gives you a 'like' you can give them a 'like' for 'liking' then they can give you a 'like' for 'liking' there 'like' and so on etc.

FFS. I’ve just bought a JVC LCD 4K 3D UHD TV. The rest of the alphabet was out of stock.

I’ve just realised how evil a chicken omelette is. They kill a chicken. Chop it up and cook it inside it’s own babies.

Unsure whether to go Gluten and Dairy free? Ask in the office. There's bound to be someone who will tell you about the consistency of their shit since they gave up weetabix and dairylea dunkers.

Top Tip. Dutch Cheese Makers: to make your products taste better, try putting some xxxx cheese flavouring in them.

Accidentally put too much water in your rice? Simply add a mobile phone and leave it in the airing cupboard overnight

If you have two aggressive and slightly unhinged dogs, consider naming them Health and Safety. Should anyone get attacked by them, you can simply claim "It's Health and Safety gone mad".

DD