[theo_luddite]

Kick-off 19:00 UK Time (well, t'fust un is),
Come back later fu' t'2nd un a week on Sat'day
Tuesday 08/08/23

If we've put 10 bob in t'meter (might need to be £1000 quid under this Government)
Under t'Prima Donna League floodleets
In that big Blue 'n' White Stadium
That apparently needs £millions spending on it just to to touch up t'paintwork
An' fix some pointin'
What else did I miss last season that apparently will cost so much to keep the stadium up to snuff?
New carpets in the executive bogs?
Stiil, at least our new owner will be in town

That he's American and owns businesses under the banner of "Venture Capital" fills me with all the joys of being made redundant twice by these vultures just before I'm due to retire and I'm spending my 'rainy day funds' somewhat like our summer weather. Fine in the morning but but pissing it down every afternoon. Call me semi-self employed if you must. Give it 12 months and a bit and I will be hopefully retired and still semi-self employed.

I hope he'll do a good job and I'll gladly shake him by the hand if he does, however to quote The Unexamined .....

"There are certain principles I have applied everywhere: invest in the business methodically, invest in the employees of the business, be passionate and create a competitive and winning environment, be patient to ride out the downside, maintain poise under pressure. Stay disciplined and have morality. Best practices."

Well, I've heard all that before and it's mostly bollox in my experience. It's not funny how "your most valuable assets" suddenly become "your most expensive" when you personally have to "ride out the downside" as the owner. Don't get me started on so called "best practices". I know I'm not the only one on here with a similar experiences.

I've renewed my Season Card regardless. I support the club, not the current chairlump whoever he/she might be.
Gawd knows I've seen plenty of those, who hasn't?

The man we 'appen could have had as head coach, Michael Carrick, and 'appen saved ourselves a lot of bother and brass, brings his Boro side down the A19 for Tuesday's fixture. We rejected him and picked some ego-maniac from Scotland who was looking for a free flight and removal expenses back home from Germany. We agreed to his relocation to Scotland. Look where that nearly got us. Any road, Mr. Carrick replaced a certain Mr. Warnock in the hot seat at The Riverside, a change that apparently didn't do either of us any harm in the end.

Given we play each other in two fixtures within the time it takes for a Swaledale lamb to shake it's tail, or as some of us might say, two shakes of a lambs dick (I was trying to be polite  ) I'm killing two birds with one stone on this 'ere thread. As quick as you can pour mint sauce into your best friends Yorkshire Pud and gravy starter, both games will be done and dusted. One of us will be looking forward to our next Cup match in early January and one of us might even have won a game, even if it went to penalties. The pair of us might still be in the nether reaches of the Chumpionship (again) or one of us might have attained the heights of mid-table mediocrity by then. All very heady stuff. 

We kick off at 7:00pm on Tuesday in the Carabooboo (or as us old farts call it The League) Cup. Now who picked 7:00pm?
Some furrin TV channel? Nope.
Some UK TV Channel? Nope.
Some EFL knobhead that thought it would be a good idea as it's the time of year when the kids are on holiday and should be back home tucked up in bed by 10:00pm? 'appen.
So how many other games are kicking off at 7:00 pm? Er, none.

So where the 'kin 'ell 'as 7pm come from then? The last chance of a train back to Boro leaves at 20:46. Good luck catching that one, and that's without the game going to penalties. I'll be on listening duties for both games in case you're wondering.

Nah, when ar wur a lad, Tuesday night kick-offs were 7:30pm. Town didn't do Wednesday (often). That lot up the A62 usually did and them down the Penistone Road always did, obvs. Then at some point that I can't quite recall, but I think in the 80's 'appen, we were given another 15 minutes to get to the 'ome game. This obviously meant we got home later and some of us that travelled a bit further missed the last bus home after catching the last bus (or nearly) out of Huddersfield to our far flung desinations of 'alifax, CleckHeckmondSedge, Dewsbury, Batley and all those other exotic Heavy Woollen districts. A bit of an 'ike or maybe a taxi fare to add to the expense. With refs now adding on 30 minutes for time wasting, nowt's changed much really has it?

On the tellybox

Not showing anywhere at the moment, good luck with iFollow, it was crap on Saturday but why am I not surprised?.
Dodgy streams might be available, I cottoned on to one at the weekend.

The EFL's whack-a-mole policy will continue no doubt in their efforts to prevent you watching what they happily put on t'interweb in the first place. That they then come looking for you and not the dodgy partners who pay them er, big? money for "the rights"  and then leak it out like a sieve is another thing entirely. Try arguing that one in front of M'lud.

Pies, pees and pints

I'll fill this bit in when we play at theirs. Somehow I doubt the prices will have come down in the concessions on the concourses over the summer, theirs or ours.

Well would you Adam and Eve it? We've only put it on the website

https://www.htafc.com/siteassets/pdfs/ks...023-24.pdf

A presser wouldn't go amiss.

Latest news (part 1)

The Arabs are paying funny money for all our (ahem) best (oldest, Shirley?) players. Is anyone really gonna watch them, or is there some other plan afoot to buy their way into the UEFA competitions along the lines of how they've bought their way into golf? Bring back the European Super League.

Five people have been arrested after an alleged brawl broke out at a Middlesbrough town centre bar. Police were called to The Central after reports of a fight at the Corporation Road pub at 7.55pm on Sunday. Shirley the Millwall fans had all gone home by then?

I put the news of the sad demise of The Crooked House, a darned good pub on the edge of Wolvo and Dudley, on the "Not the Town o'clock News" thread. There's b'stards and there's 'kin idiots. 'nuff said.

Out Injured/Suspended/Isolating

Pearson managed to delay his first injury of the season until well into the first game this time. Given his er, theatrics, a dead leg would appear to be a tad optimistic. Shirley he could have walked that off by jogging to Lands End and back before the end of the match? Given normal recovery rates, he might be back before the 2nd International break. Don't hold your breath tho' but. Otherwse, no breaking news from the weekend for the Cup game so far. See Pressers

Back training but not oven ready/Back in the frame

Well unless Jordan Rhodes fancies a place in the back 4 replacing Pearson, don't expect him to start on Tuesday. Then again, as it's a free hit, he'll likely be first choice up front to prove his fitness to the League 1/2 clubs who can't wait to take on his inflated wage demands.

Last time out

If you were in a cove in Ibiza with no TV, Radio or Interweb signal, sorry to spoil your holibobs but we came 2nd at Plymouth.

If your were a Boro fan in a cove in Ibiza with no TV, Radio or Interweb signal, sorry to spoil your holibobs but you came 2nd at home to Millwall. Seriously? Millwall? Chuff me, that's almost as bad as us losing to Plymouth (well, nearly).

Musical Interuption

I'm going lazy and going all Chris Rea this week. Hell, how much research do you want me to do?
I might have done this before. In fact I'm pretty sure I did this before.
It's my thread and I'll play who I want to, play who I want to.

With apologies to Lesley Gore and John Jackson / Wally Gold / John Gluck Jr / Taiwan Green / Herb Weiner
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mIsnIt1p978

Stainsby Girls is a long standing fave of mine. I've even created a ringtone from it.
Now if I could just work out how to get the bugger to work on my new phone ......

Supposedly wrote (writted, written) about his missus, who attended the school of the same name.
Just to piss us off, that was recorded at The Plymouth Pavilions.

If you fancy some food poisoning from all the shit our water chaps are pumping out, a real Brexshit benefit if ever I smelled one.

57 triathletes have felt that benefit off Blunderland Beach this weekend.
https://www.theguardian.com/environment/...rland-race

The M6/M25/M62/M60 song

Oh for a £1 for every minute I've been stuck in jams on those roads.

.... and finally for a bit of French Froggy France stuff

Ever wondered how they make geetars? You know now.
Saw a load of old 'uns into bits and glue some of the bits back together again. What could possibly go wrong?
I'm sure Hank Marvin could advise if you brought along some sarnies.

Before you argue - when did Lee Marvin ever play a geetar, let alone bring a load of sarnies to a picnic?

Kwik Kwiz - 1

What does Auberge mean in English? No cheating. Yeah, I did, but it doesn't mean that you can. 

The Sack Race

Neither of us involved yet, move on please.
Yes I know there were a few daft and saft 'uns over the Summer, Darren Moore for one but erm, new season, I'll start from August 1st.

Tables, Form & all that stats stuff.

We've played once each, we both lost, get over it, move on, nothing to see here (yet, hopefully)

Innies and Outies

Well Town have totally changed their squad by promoting a bunch of kids from the Academy, oh and a couple of not quite top flight loan players. Last of the big spenders or what? We could have done with hijacking those two that Plymouth bought, though whether they'd have trecked all the way to Yorkshire instead of the English Riviera is another thing.

Meanwhile up in the land of the big white smog they have paid a small fortune for a keeper to er, help with their goal scoring abilities. They obvs weren't that sure of his abilities as they brought another in on a freebie as a back up. I'm sure it will all work out for the best like we expect our "investements in the future" will. Whenever they arrive that is.

Mr. Smiff and Mr. Crooks, former residents of our parish, are still at Boro. Mr. Smiff wasn't in Sat'day's squad. He suffered an ankle injury in Boro's pre-season loss to Real Betis.

Who's banging 'em in

Er, nobody yet for Boro. As for Town, our top scorer just for a change, is a centre back.

They can't all lose

It's the EFL Cup, approximately half of them never do but the other half always do. Strange how cup fixtures work out, isn't it?

We've played 'em before

Well, even if we spawnily win both games we still have an issue in need of rectification here

Next up?

Leicester at home. Hmm, we drew at home with them in the Prima Donna League because VAR said our player had a shoe lace or toe nail off side, denying a perfectly good goal. Don't think we have VAR now so I'll happilly take 5-1 with 4 dubiously off-side decisions. Tbf I'll take 1-1 again right now.

Pressers

Rocket Ron

Just waiting for Boro to get out of bed now

Well, still not sure if Carrick has got out of bed but this is as near as it gets, apparently

https://www.gazettelive.co.uk/sport/foot...d-27466886



KWIK KWIZ -2 (and 3, Shirley?)

In which Frank Drebin film/movie did the phrase "Don't call me Shirley" feature as a running gag?
Who was Frank Drebin?

Apologies for making the KWIK KWIZ so hard in this thread. I'll try to make them easier later in the season.
I'll also try not to pinch idea's off AmChaff as often either. 

[theo_luddite]

Hey, I forgot to mention, despite both teams losing on Saturday, which has likely taken another 1-2,000 of the attendance, it's only £10 to get in for big kids, even less for little ones, so those expensive beers won't seem quite as expensive as they do at a League match. Bonus!!!

Not really.

[ritchiebaby]

KWIK KWIZZES
Auberge sounds like a vegetable, so I'll go with purple broccoli.

Naked Gun immediately springs to mind. Frank Drebin was an American cop, straight out of Police Squad - the oldies are the best. Also out of The Shadows did he not feature in a Mattesons' TV advert with the afore mentioned Starvin' Hank Marvin?

Now can I look all that up on t'internet?

[Lord Snooty]

Nice one, theo. Sorry your still having trouble with the dance. The redun-dance. (You 'aving that one, Dave?) What is it with companies not appreciating us oldies? And what is it with the bloody government thinking we can all work a lot longer? Doing what?

Some minister said the other day that we should all be out on those Deliveroo bikes.

As for the Kwiz. Isn't an auberge an egg plant?

And Shirley you can't be serious about the film?

"We need to get her to a hospital."

"Why? What is it?"

"It's a large building with patients inside."

---

The 7.00 kick off seems a bit daft. Not going anyway, but if we was, it would be a struggle getting there for kick off. They reckon it's to get more kids in the ground.

Who's taking these kids?

[theo_luddite]

Who's taking these kids?

School teachers Shirley?

Oh hang on a min, aren't they all on holibobs?

Shirley not? Shirley Valentine. Give 'er a ring.

Flying up the wrong alley ritchie, but I get where you are coming from. Go for it.

---

Just bought some new inner-tubes for me trike Snoots. I rode it about 300 yards and was bloody knackered. I couldn't deliver a hot pizza to me own back yard so bollox to that idea for a game of soldiers. If that tw@t of a Conservative can deliver one to mine I'll give him a tip. Don't stand for the next election you !*&£. To be honest I'd say the same to my own MP, but no idea whether it's a he or a she.

[ritchiebaby]

Looked it up now. theo. I got all muxed ip with my adverts. Only excuse is that I don't like cider but do like meat. And I'm old!

[jjamez]

Was it naked gun or was it airplane. I feel like he said it in both.

As for Rhodes I think he should be starting every game ahead of ward, especially if you put hudlin or harratt up with him to do the running. I think you can afford to at home. Away from home maybe a bit different.

These inflated wages Rhodes is on, I've been told he's nowhere near the top earner at the club and took a drastic pay cut to come back for the length of contract and ability to stay in the same house with his young family. If he does leave, I can see it being on loan to someone fairly local

[theo_luddite]

Somebody's take on our wage bill. I've no idea where they get this info from so can't dispue it one way or t'other.

https://salarysport.com/football/champio...ield-town/

Obviously the top two on our list aren't here anymore and it was highly unlikely we were on the hook for their full wages either. Some that are aren't (yet) on the list, so it's due an update

When you go and look a Prima Donna League wages you can easily work out how expensive it is just to be mediocre up there.

PS Scroll down below the first set of wages to find out what the B Team/U19's are supposedly on.

[WakeyTerrier]

Giving this one a wide berth tonight and I'll either follow it on Radio Leeds or via whatever they call the midweek version of Soccer Saturday.

A combination of kick off time, having to buy a ticket, having to buy a car park ticket and the fact the team sheet will probably feature the 9 subs from the weekend and a loss predicted are my reasons for giving this a swerve.

I maybe surprised, but I doubt it

---

Theo- I'm not sure how reliable those figures are. Although I'm not sure how reliable my info is either but I would say the majority of those figures are on the conservative side.

[theo_luddite]

I've seen other folk claiming higher wages Wakey, though some of them seem to think we're still paying a few Prima Donna League wages.

According to Companies House filings for the season ending June 2022, our total wage bill (players and staff) was £20m and change, with income including the back end of the Prima Donna League payments at £30m and change. We'd 80 players and 157 "other staff" on average on the books. I'd assume some of the "other staff" are match days only unless the Stadium Company picks up that bill. Either way they aren't on £20K per week, most of them won't be on £20K per year. Our matchday income is only £5m, commercial/retail etc brings in around anther £4mish so it's not hard to work out why Deano was coughing up £5m per year on average. Take £21m out of TV and League Income and we're heading for a larger loss than that in the last and current season unless our players wage bill dropped a bit.