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+----- Thread: Daktari and the Scruffiest Giant (/showthread.php?tid=13346)
Daktari and the Scruffiest Giant - Devongone - 19-10-2024
Tooley's Take on our website is the kindest take possible on a dire evening in Newport. We won 0-3 but it was an exercise in survival for those watching. The beautiful game this wasn't. The idiot goal stolen by Markanday after 40 seconds comforted us as we groaned that at least we were winning.
First, a confession, as I slowly decline towards dementia, I might occasionally refer to our Kenny-Everett-handed young keeper as Marshall. He's called Thompson I know, but my first crush was on Marshall Thompson, the lead in Daktari. Luckily he was more interested in Clarence the cross-eyed lion. But all these years on I can't stop accidentally calling our keeper Marshall. Quite soon my affections transferred to Patrick Macnee, Steed from The Avengers. I obviously went for the more mature man! Hopefully we can avoid signing any players whose names trigger "my befuddled brain" (a quote from Procul Harum) to rename them Macnee or Steed.
Bizarrely having watched us struggle last week against a man of only 6'5" Newport left 6'9" Kyle Hudlin sprawled on the bench. He finally shambled apologetically onto the pitch with the game two-thirds over, his body language shrinking him by several inches. He had chosen to curate his hair into two ill-formed non-matching antlers flopping unevenly against their elastic bands. His Auntie-Aleysha's shortie bedsocks were clearly designed to emphasise the abnormally long and spindly legs emerging unwillingly from aero-dynamically-unsustainably voluminous shorts.
Kyle won a couple of headers and hit a post with a cross desperately clawed away by our goalkeeper Daktari. Soon Grimes leapt into him to challenge for a header, leaving Hudlin grounded like a disassembled spider on the turf. That prompted Will Grigg to demonstrate that centre forwards need not leap high to score goals, cleverly adding two from an apparently somnolent position in the the six-yard box.
Newport's best player was undoubtedly Kamwa, whose focus was spot-on throughout, producing the odd snapshot and enlivening a rather passive attack with an entire album of tricks. The permanently argumentative Wildig eventually had to be substituted. Apparently he is to be confined to a telephone box to see whether he can manage to start an argument there.
Our best player was undoubtedly Ty Williams who chummed up with Araujo to handle everything half-heartedly thrown at them. Dobra performed as if choreographed by Dancing (willdoit) and was soon voted off by the audience.
It was a bad bad game and Newport will be well-advised to employ a dresser for Kyle Hudlin in future. Berry, glued to the bench, and Drummond and Hobson on loan must have wondered, but it is hard to argue with a 0-3. We did deserve to win and Newport certainly deserved to lose.
RE: Daktari and the Scruffiest Giant - Dancingwilldoit - 19-10-2024
I was more of a Diana Rigg in a one piece leather cat suit than Patrick McGee in his bowler but to each their own. Never got the same vibe from Linda Thorson though.
Listened last night. Sounded crap but a win is a win. Tooley and whoever else it was went Markandy for MOM.
Sounded like Williams had a good game and Grimes at least got some game time.
I'm not knocking a clean sheet and 3 goals. I'll take more crap games if it gives us 3pts.
RE: Daktari and the Scruffiest Giant - Devongone - 19-10-2024
NOT watching it was a plus, believe me.
You see that's what was great about The Avengers. My dad and every other male it seemed was watching because of Diana Rigg and her cat suit. I was lusting after Patrick. But even I can see that Diana Rigg was sexy.
RE: Daktari and the Scruffiest Giant - Lord Snooty - 19-10-2024
Great description of ar Kyle there, Devon.
RE: Daktari and the Scruffiest Giant - Devongone - 20-10-2024
If Kyle is to succeed ANYWHERE in pro football he needs to stride onto the pitch as though he is a huge threat. He needs to emphasise his height and potential strength in his appearance. At the moment he looks sad and apologetic but actually he did one or two good things.
I never was impressed by him, but that's largely because he is his own worst enemy. If he went on the pitch and stood by the centre back and looked down on him as though he's saying, hiya short stuff, he'd be halfway there. He must have been 7 inches taller than anyone on that Rodney Parade pitch. (John Isner didn't have the skills to be a top rank tennis player, but he had a long, successful career based on being 6'10" and belting down serves from out of the clouds.)
RE: Daktari and the Scruffiest Giant - Dancingwilldoit - 20-10-2024
Height isn't any advantage sometimes Dev. I'm 6'5' and I think you're quite tall if my memory serves.
I could never run or move fast. All my life I've walked with a stoop to avoid banging my head on doorframes and low beams etc. It was always an occupational hazard. Health and Safety had me wearing a hard hat, problem was it made me taller and I used to bang my head on everything in sight.
To use height advantage you need players who can cross with accuracy. Fortunately for us Newport didn't.
RE: Daktari and the Scruffiest Giant - Devongone - 20-10-2024
I was happy to be 6'3". It brought more advantages than disadvantages and I was lucky to be fairly fast and light-footed. Mind you with ginger hair it meant I never got away with anything.
I'm sure for Hudlin his height has huge disadvantages when playing, but it also gives him an advantage no one can answer. He has to play like a bigger version of Keiffer Moore. He has to put himself about and make himself a nuisance. But he appears reticent and does not draw himself up to his full height most of the time. And remember you are tall but you can dance despite your head being miles from your feet ...... And he doesn't have to appear as though he's just been dragged through a hedge.
Newport's crossing will improve if Hudlin starts terrifying defences .... and his manager might start him rather than bringing him on as an act of desperation.