[theo_luddite]

So, it's OK to travel between 00:01 and 23:59 on Christmas Day, but not OK to travel Christmas Eve at before 23:59 and back Boxing Day after 00:01 in your own car, on your own, because this wonderfully clever fecking virus that knows it can't attack you while you eat a meal but it apparently can while you only drink a - beer/glass of wine/tipple of your choice - while sat in the same seat in the same building and served by the same member of staff. I'm glad we've cleared that one up.

What about folk that have already travelled "home" for Christmas then, as many have?

Are they allowed to travel back to Larndan on January 2nd, assuming the trains aren't running January 1st? Or do they have to stay in "somewhere that's not Larndan" until Bodgit and whoever his latest Spads and Spaffers are allowed back in to continue running the feck up that is Brexit? Or do they all have to be back by their beds before midnight Christmas Day, when fook hall is gonna be running public transport wise anyway?

Apart from dealing with all the Christmas Day domestics, which means the boys and girls in dark blue will have their hands fuller than usual, who the hell is going to police all this?

Precisely.

The Army will be mounting machine gun posts at every motorway service station and the RAF will have bombing runs down all the A roads. What could possibly go wrong?

Spaffer? Any suggestions?